Taboo in Thailand: Politics, Sex, and Religion in the Land of Smiles

We’ve all heard it: steer clear of politics, religion, and sex in polite conversation. But let’s face it, if you’re considering moving abroad—especially somewhere as culturally distinct as Thailand—you’d better get comfortable with these supposedly taboo topics. After all, understanding them could mean the difference between blissful retirement and a cultural faceplant.

Relocating to Thailand immediately changes your worldview—you’re no longer in “America World.” You’re in “Thai World,” governed by a political system you may not completely understand.

Many new arrivals from the US stay connected to their old information sources, not quite ready to detach from the drama back home. When someone brings up American politics, my go-to line is, “Sorry, I voted with my passport 25 years ago.” Usually, that’s enough to pivot the conversation to how wonderful life is here in Thailand.

Thai politics can initially seem chaotic, especially with a history of military coups. In the past 25 years, Thailand has experienced two—one in 2006, when the military ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra while he was out of the country, citing corruption and abuse of power.

The second coup took place in 2014, led by General Prayuth Chan-ocha, following months of escalating antigovernment protests against then Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra. The military dissolved the government, citing a need to restore order. (Prayuth later became Prime Minister.)

But these events are surprisingly calm. Schools, banks, and public transport stay open. I’ve seen more violence at a Little League baseball game in America.

That said, Thailand is a constitutional monarchy where the king is revered. Steer clear of openly criticizing Thai royals—a prickly lèse-majesté law forbids it. Don’t badmouth public officials in Thailand either, unless you’re fond of defamation lawsuits.

No Tanks, Mom—Just Flower Power

My mother once called in panic after watching US news coverage of the 2006 coup: “Are there tanks on your street?” Actually, there were Girl Scouts placing flowers in soldiers’ rifle barrels to signify a peaceful change in leadership.

Although the monarchy holds significant cultural influence, it’s the Prime Minister and other elected officials who exercise real political power. And the military has historically played a strong role in governance.

The administrations I’ve experienced here all seemed competent. Government offices, banks, schools, hospitals, and public transportation have remained open and functioning. The military regime that governed for seven years following the 2014 coup effectively maintained the economy and advanced infrastructure projects (they also managed the pandemic significantly better than many large Western countries).

Recent positive political shifts—like legalizing cannabis and gay marriage—have directly enhanced expat life. Others may be on the way. Currently, the Thai Parliament is debating casino legalization, as well as a bill to increase the share of condominium buildings that foreigners can legally own.

My approach to politics in this country is that of a lurker. I gather information about issues that may be relevant to me, form my own opinions, then politely keep them to myself. Butting out of local politics seems like a reasonable price to pay for all the other freedoms we enjoy in Thailand.

Buddhism As a Way of Life

During my first river tour in Bangkok, we cruised past Wat Paknam under the gaze of a gigantic golden Buddha statue, and I had a true “Dorothy moment”— definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Growing up in America, even if you avoided church like the plague, Abrahamic religious values shaped your cultural outlook. In Thailand, you’ll find Buddhism everywhere—literally. Statues, spirit houses, and serpentine deities are more common than Starbucks back home.

Buddhism is more than just a religion; it embodies a way of life for Thai people. They begin their mornings by offering alms to monks and adhere to principles such as compassion and mindfulness. Significant life events—births, marriages, funerals, and even home purchases and new business openings—are deeply infused with Buddhist rituals.

I once attended a “house blessing” for my friend and his Thai wife. Three monks arrived in the morning, spread mats on the floor, and chanted for about one hour. They burned incense and wove a long string throughout the group connecting all the attendees. They mixed clay from holy water and ashes, and used it to draw magical symbols over all the doors and windows to keep negative energy from entering the home. After the ceremony, they cut the string into shorter lengths and tied them around the wrist of each attendee. I felt both blessed and protected.

Even if you never meditate or visit temples, Thailand gently encourages you to embrace patience and compassion. When I arrived 25 years ago, I was impatient and perpetually stressed about being on time. Fast forward to last month: a local contractor promised to paint my condo in two weeks, but it only took him one week. If it had taken a month instead, I wouldn’t have blinked. In Thailand, stressing about time is seen as “self-inflicted suffering,” so over time, you naturally learn to stop doing it.

ALL RELIGIONS WELCOME

Thailand celebrates religious diversity and protects freedom of worship. Bangkok alone has over 450 Christian churches, synagogues, and mosques. You’ll find flourishing Christian communities around international schools that blend Christian-based curricula with traditional Thai education. The Thailand Church Directory is an excellent resource for expats seeking a familiar spiritual community.

Religious Inclusion Extends to Ghosts

In Thailand, animism, the belief that spirits inhabit natural objects, coexists comfortably with Buddhism. Thai spirit houses—miniature dwellings where offerings are placed—are everywhere, from bustling city sidewalks to quiet rural roadsides. These colorful little shrines add a charming layer of spirituality to everyday life.

While renovating a condo I’d purchased in Bangkok, the building manager informed me that the former tenant was a young Thai model named Peggy. Tragically, her life ended in a photo shoot accident in Hong Kong. The owner sold the condo to me at a discounted price because she was concerned that Peggy’s spirit might be unsettled and return to haunt the apartment.

Naturally, I called in the three monks I’d met during the house blessing to sort this haunting thing out. I also installed a spirit house on the balcony, giving Peggy a nice place to stay if she ever returns. (I don’t believe in ghosts, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.)

An International Living member who traveled to Thailand recently asked me if I had converted to Buddhism. “‘Converted’ isn’t the right word,” I said. “There’s an awakening, and there’s detachment. Letting go of the place you came from, or old ways of life, is the hard part. But I’ve met several expats who have come here and gained new perspectives and clarity about their place in the world. That’s why so many are choosing to move here.”

Sex and the Land of Contrasts

Thais generally dress modestly and frown on public displays of affection—think Midwest conservative but with tropical style. Thailand is also home to some infamous nightlife venues, such as Bangkok’s legendary adult entertainment zones, Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, and Patpong. The seaside resort town of Pattaya has been labeled “The Sex Capital of the World”—its Las Vegas-like Walking Street is populated with the glitziest go-go palaces on the planet.

The stereotype of submissive Thai partners is hilariously outdated.

Even rural towns have their small nightlife strips where friendly hostesses happily kick your ass at pool, separating you from your beer money… and dignity. While prostitution is technically illegal, it’s as widely tolerated as jaywalking in Manhattan.

If you consider such openness morally repugnant, Thailand might not be your cup of tea—or at least, you’ll learn quickly to avoid “that” side of town. Thais have a favorite phrase for personal choices: “Up to you.” Where I live in Pattaya, we say, “The Pattaya you find is the Pattaya you go looking for.”

Thais Shrug at Gender Fluidity and May-December Romances

Thai views on sexuality and gender are refreshingly fluid. Growing up in America, labels felt rigid—straight, gay, male, female. In Thailand, gender is more of a spectrum than a checkbox. Transgender individuals enjoy legal recognition as a “third gender,” and same-sex marriage is officially recognized.

New expats often experience culture shock, which is soon followed by acceptance. Many expats find this openness liberating—I’ve seen countless newcomers embrace their true identities here without fear of judgment.

Age-gap relationships are common. Older men (foreign and Thai) often marry significantly younger Thai women. But the stereotype of submissive Thai partners is hilariously outdated—most relationships here are partnerships, not servitude.

Recently, I’ve noticed more older foreign women finding younger partners here. Whether transactional, caretaking, or genuine love, Thais simply shrug. The average Thai couple has a 12-year age difference, and after a while, you stop noticing entirely.

Finding a great partner will naturally enhance your expat experience. I can easily name a dozen successful Thai-American couples… Some met in their youth and have been together for over 20 years. Some run profitable businesses together. Others have started families and enjoy those norms, like shuffling kids to summer camps and soccer games.

Living in Thailand provides a unique opportunity to reflect on your values and assumptions from a fresh perspective. Whether you’re navigating political drama, adopting the patience inspired by Buddhist philosophy, or adjusting to Thailand’s open attitude towards sexuality, your worldview is sure to change.

Bart Walters is IL’s Thailand Correspondent. He has lived and traveled throughout Thailand for 25 years, working as a real estate developer, a college professor, and a marketing executive. He’s published numerous articles about what it’s like to live in Southeast Asia.